Movie review of Escape from Darwin, 2008
DAMIEN’S RATING of Escape from Darwin: 0 – Warning: do not watch this movie! Seeing this movie is like watching puppies being tortured while listening to the sound of fingernails scraping on a chalkboard in a room filled with smoke from burning hair.
See the complete movie rating system here.
Escape from Darwin reviewed in 25 words or less: This is an atrocious movie. If you know someone who is thinking about seeing it, have an intervention!
FULL REVIEW of Escape from Darwin
This is an utterly horrible movie. It is also a movie that gets high praise on a popular movie website. That website accepts viewers’ reviews and posts them. Surely, that review was written by one of the actors – and I use the term loosely.
Escape from Darwin stars Keith Anton, Emerson Brooks, Cecilie Bull, Allen Carrasco, and Ian Dunn. Escape from Darwin was directed by Istvan Criste.
From start to finish, Escape from Darwin is an amazingly bad movie. It’s difficult to even sit here and write a review. It seems I’m lending credibility to it. Besides, all I can think to say about any part of Escape from Darwin is: it stunk – but I can use different adjectives to do so.
I knew Escape from Darwin was going to be really bad about 5 minutes into the movie. That was just after the first dialog between two characters. The dialog was absurd and the performances would shame a third grade school play.
Just when I thought that Escape from Darwin couldn’t get any worse – the first fight scene was forced upon me. I do not know the words to describe how bad it was. It set a new low standard in my mind for movie fight scenes.
I would like to say that the scenery in Escape from Darwin was nice. But I can’t go there either. Whoever filmed this movie, and called for the shots used, needs to understand that while bright sunlight largely eliminates the need for supplemental lighting, it also washes out color and eliminates the subtle shadows that give scenery its depth. Perhaps some time spent viewing Ansel Adams’ works, the master of light and shadow in still photography, would help.
I watched almost this entire movie at 2x or 3x speed. That way the actors sound like chipmunks, but the torture of Escape from Darwin is shorter lived.
If you read this review of Escape from Darwin, and decide to rent Escape from Darwin and watch it anyway, I am confident that you’ll become a fan of my movie reviews. So, to any of you who ignore my review of Escape from Darwin and watch it, thanks in advance for visiting my movie review blog frequently in the future! And rest assured, you’ll always get the straight scoop from my movie reviews.
Leave a Reply