DAMIEN’S MOVIE REVIEW RATING SYSTEM
10 – See this movie as soon as you can. Sell something to buy a theatre ticket if necessary. Wait in long lines – in the snow – if necessary. Get the DVD the day it comes out, too.
9 – Go and see this movie – you’ll be glad you did. It’s definitely worth the price of admission. It will make it into to many DVD collections.
8 – You’ll probably think this movie was worth the price of theatre admission – probably. It’s definitely worth a DVD rental someday.
7 – This was a good movie. I do not think it’s worth the price of a theatre ticket, though. Wait for the DVD.
6 – This movie was okay. I wouldn’t drive to the DVD rental place to get it, though. If you’re in the market for something new and ‘risky,’ this might be your movie for the weekend.
5 – This movie establishes where mediocrity starts and ends. Nobody will hate this movie, but nobody will love it, either.
4 – This movie has something that saves it from being a total waste of time. It may be some great lines, music or an excellent scene or two. Rent this DVD at your own risk.
3 – I made it through this movie without fast forwarding, but only just barely. If you end up in a situation where you must watch this movie – prepare to be somewhere between disappointed and upset.
2 – Despite knowing that I needed to review this movie, I had to fast forward through much of it. I’d avoid watching this movie unless you need to impress your new in-laws or your boss.
1 – What were they thinking when they made this movie? If you decide to watch this movie, put yourself on suicide watch before doing so. I would rather slap my mom around the house all day than to even ever hear the title of this movie again.
0 – Warning: do not watch this movie! Seeing this movie is like watching puppies being tortured while listening to the sound of fingernails scraping on a chalkboard in a room filled with smoke from burning hair.
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